Time of healing....

I typed this sometime back, about a month ago to be exact and I posted it on my blog which happens to be private. I typed it while crying, I felt alone, abandoned, deserted and all the emotions that come along. Some of the things do not connect but yes, that is how I was feeling. I hope this will start my healing and restoration process. The Lord spoke to me last night saying "And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, The cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, My great army which i sent among you" Joel 2:25. Come to think about it, I hate caterpillars; when I was a little girl, whenever I saw one that would spoil everything for me, my sleep, food etc. Let me share..

"I’m here wondering if like David, I should write down what I’m feeling right now(although I know its unexplainable), that it could bless someone in the times to come like the Psalms encourage many( A friend of mine who had gone through afflictions from a totally different angle, once told me that those things have now become her ministry). “My tears have been my meat day and night, While they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?……I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? Ps 42:3,9
I used to sing that Sunday school song “##…with Jesus in my boat(or heart I’ve forgotten) I can smile at the storms…..when I’m sailing home…” The storms have hit me from all sides of my life and all I can say is ‘ if Jesus is surely on my boat, then He must be fast asleep’ (Mark 4:38) because I feel like I’m drowning. But Lord You neither sleep nor slumber(Ps 121:4b). You promised You will never leave me nor forsake me. Lord where are You? I’m drowning, the waves are sweeping me over. You promised that You will not let me be tempted above what I’m able to handle (1 Cor 10:13), Lord has my faith gone down? I feel my knees are giving in. Lord where are You? I’m wondering how long did Job suffer for God to restore all that had been taken away from him? I have asked so many questions, I have cried, felt all the emotions that there are, hurt, rejection, failure, disappointment, anger etc
My heat is sinking, I feel like I’m suffocating, where is my God? When I call do You answer?, for You have promised that if we call upon You, You will answer (Jer 29:12; 33:3). Father do not let the enemy rejoice at my downfall, do not let the enemy rejoice. Hear my cry Lord unto You, I have trusted You do not let me put to shame. Lord if this is nightmare may I wake up from the sleep.
Lord hear my desperate cry, my humble cry, deliver me from the pit of the enemy.
As I was walking around town today I felt you speaking to my heart but right now I can't see any manifestation of the things you were laying on my heart. Or I cant hear you anymore, Father increase my faith to believe and trust in all Your promises to me."

I'm hopeful, I'm trusting and I'm going back to the place where its all about Him.

Will you join me?