Not easily derailed

No-one can derail any of us from the path that the sovereign God has laid out for us. He always gets His will done, using the very people who think they can toy with our lives. See how God used Joseph's brothers, as well as the plotting of the Jews to kill Jesus. Had they known...... Our obligation is to obey what He has commanded; He always keeps His own end of the deal. That, my sister, is a very comforting truth.

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an episode of…

I’m kidding, but not really. While I don’t mean to rain on the interesting and moving prison story that began in the post below mine, I’ve got some thoughts that I need to type out while I can still be coherent.

“Using the very people who think they can toy with our lives.” That line, taken from an excerpt of a facebook status discussion, is deep and comforting to me on so many levels and I didn't really even notice it until just now. I’ve been thinking about insecurity, anger, jealousy, and the way people act like they do, and I have decided that one thing that explains a lot of actions is the desire for control, which can also be read as the fear of losing control.

I wanted to share a true story that I have told many times since it happened a few months ago but after I typed and read through it I was convicted by the fact that it would not be a very loving act, even if I have forgiven the person and even if she never reads it and even if she does read it and nobody but she and I get to know who she is.

Insecurity and manipulation are all born out of a desire to control other people in order for things to go our way. Babies learn early that if they cry, they will get milk. Some people take this on way into adulthood, which results in girls/women crying at every provocation to get what they want from their parents, friends, boyfriends, husbands, and then children. Men will sometimes shout, because their deep voices are intimidating and therefore get them what they want, too. Some men will call their exes just to massage their egos – “She talks to me, therefore I must be quite something.” He may be over the relationship, but while he waits on the next girl, he still wants that kick of knowing he is the don and still has a place and position (read: some level of control) in some woman’s heart. At the end of the day, all this is manipulation. People who harass and manipulate others are afraid of losing control and constantly want things to go their way because on some level they feel like it’s all about them.

We are all innately selfish, and by innate I mean it’s our fleshly/Adamic nature and remains in us hopefully subdued/controlled by the Holy Spirit for as long as we are in this realm. I always watch older siblings if I am present when Mummy comes home from the hospital with an intruder. They can get so jealous, I have seen some attempt to carry their younger siblings away from Mummy’s lap and sit there themselves. It’s understandable because they are suddenly jolted out of their comfort zone, now they have to share and be considerate and most importantly, their parents’ love is not theirs and theirs alone.

But we need to learn that life is not about just us. Hopefully by the time we approach adulthood, we realize that this is a planet with 6billion-plus people and limited resources that have to be shared out, and that rarely are these resources ever shared out fairly. When we understand our Source, we will know that no human being can affect our destiny. Why should I make it my life’s goal to ruin yours? If I know my God, I will depend on Him for completion and for my identity. When He renews my mind, I will understand that what people bring into my life does not make me who I am; it is simply additional to what I already have. Sure, it is a blessing, and even more so if it lasts. But if they take it (or themselves) away, then they have not made me any less of a person than I have been and will be! Because I am a child of God, if a person begins to become a god to me, the real God will take him or her away – in a way that will make me remember that truly, the Lord is God, and He loves me jealously.

Back to the baby thing. I cannot control another person. You can beat or shout a child into submission but for an adult, you never know; some people have made that mistake only to be responded to by a gun in the face. Some people want to control others because they have been rejected before but the truth is it might not even have been rejection, it could simply be that the person made a different choice. Why should an orange go and kill itself because I say I prefer bananas? The orange is not worse, nor is the banana better; I just have a different preference!

Variety is the spice of life and we were not all created the same so if we would learn to appreciate our differences, understand our callings and truly, truly get to know the inability of a person to ruin another’s destiny, then wow… I think we would make so much progress as women, as Africans, as the church… as children of God.

"And such as do wickedly against the covenant shall he corrupt by flatteries: but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits." - Daniel 11:32.