reading this Green Card issue, and remembering what was written about veiled selfishness, i am reminded of someting i always ask myself; what motivated Jesus to want to chase demons out of people? and what motivates me to want to chase demons out of people? the answers to these two questions are still not the same, though they are less different from when i first questioned myself.
first, my answer to the 2nd question was that it is generally a good thing to help people, - God will be pleased with me if i work towards this. later i realised that Chritianity is about being like Jesus, so i thought to myself, chasing the demons away will make me more like Jesus and therefore increase my chances of going to Heaven. fortunately, i found myself in an actual situation of praying for someone through whom demons were manifesting. we prayed until the person was set free, and it was all so cool! so that was my next reason; pride. imagine being called Crystal the demon-chaser. lol. but still later on when God had mercy on me and drew my worship away from myself and back to Him, i got a revelation about His Kingdom. and i thought to myself, 'so this is why Christ did what He did; He was initiating the Kingdom-building business'. so i have thrown myself into it all; when the Church calls us to do seed projects and reach out to the community, i am there; for sure, i want to be like Christ. i pray, i attend the Bible studies, cell, etc, everything that looks like it will help me build God's Kingdom. and when i read about people sitting on thrones next to God, about God saying things like well-done good and faithful servant, i want to work extra hard and be extra good and be extra obedient to Him and do things extra right so He can say the same words to me on that day. who doesn't want to sit on a throne next to God and rule with Him?! but then even after working hard to ensure these promises for myself, at the end of the day, i still feel like God is 'there' and i am way over 'here'. i still feel like i am not 'good enough' and go back to my to-do list to see if i am one step closer to assuring a place right next to Him in Heaven. and sometimes, compared to what others have done, i think i've probably done a lot of good things. but then why the distance? and i remind myself that it is accepting Christ in my heart that pleases God more than my works ever could. i remember that obedience is better than sacrifice. i remember that there is nothing i could ever do or not do that would make God love me more. and then i realise that it is God Himself that i want right now. intimacy with Him. and i wonder, did Christ ever feel this way after all that He did? did He still feel the need to be one with God's heart? but then He is God. He was already one with God's heart. He probably didn't need to do anything more to get there. so then why did He do all those things? why did He roam about the earth trying to build God's Kingdom if that's not what got Him closer to God's heart? then the answer comes;
John 3:16, 'for God so loved the world that He gave His only Son...' ; 1John 4:9, 'this is how God showed His love among us; He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.' ; 1 John 4:11, 'dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.' ; John 15:9-14, 'as the father has loved me, so have i loved you. now remain in my love. if you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as i have obeyed my father's commands and remain in His love...my command is this: Love each other as i have loved you. greater love has no-one than this, that he lay down His life for His friends. you are my friends if you do what i command.' ; plus John 17:3, 21, and 23, and the rest of the chapter, etc.
Love. is this the reason Christ did everything He did? remember 1Cor 13. prophecies will cease, tongues will be stilled, knowledge will pass away, but love is the greatest of the three that will remain. i can do everything by the books;- the seed projects, the Bible studies and all, but if i don't have love... among its characteristics, love is not self-seeking. is it possible that when Jesus was chasing those demons, He was not seeking anything for Himself? that He wasn't even doing it coz He knew His reward was sitting at the right hand of the father at the end of His mission? He said He has loved us the way our father has loved Him, and we can remain in His love by obeying Him. this love, was this His motivation? is it the reason for everything? after all, God is love...
what motivated Jesus to chase demons out of people? what motivates me to want to do the same? i pray that the answers to these questions will become the same. so help me God.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Green Card
It’s truly amazing that even among the supposedly spiritually mature, there is such a thing as a friend with benefits. It’s not necessarily sexual, though it sometimes may be - how else do you explain that 'godly' man who soon insists on sleeping with you? But there are people who will be your friends because they see you as a stepping stone en route to their destination, and the minute you stop being useful to that effect, they cease to be your friend.
I remember one gospel minister telling me that she was supposed to go and give a talk somewhere, but found out that the team that called her did not even want to take care of her accommodation or transport. She refused to go and that’s understandable because these are difficult economic times and to be honest if you call someone to speak on a powerful topic for free, the least you can do is give them bus fare and a place to lay their heads.
When they realized she was not going to go, instead of trying to find even the cheapest means to get her there, they asked her to email them her notes so that they could read from them.
“Those people just wanted to use me,” she said. Thankfully, she spotted it and knowing her, I am sure she told them off.
People will use you, even in the church and you have to be ready to spot the phonies at first sight, or else you will end up embittered and frustrated at the wrong level of the battle. The devil is a liar… that’s all he’s good for and he will even lie to you that you have a friend (or that you don’t have one) so that your purposes are frustrated. I’ve had my own share of users in the past and I know firsthand that it’s important to go slow, and observe people carefully when things are not going their way, because that’s when you will see their true character. Either the phone calls will cease, the love will wax cold and the rumours will begin to flow, or they will continue in tough times to be the same people they have been in the good times.
Blessings, ladies!
I remember one gospel minister telling me that she was supposed to go and give a talk somewhere, but found out that the team that called her did not even want to take care of her accommodation or transport. She refused to go and that’s understandable because these are difficult economic times and to be honest if you call someone to speak on a powerful topic for free, the least you can do is give them bus fare and a place to lay their heads.
When they realized she was not going to go, instead of trying to find even the cheapest means to get her there, they asked her to email them her notes so that they could read from them.
“Those people just wanted to use me,” she said. Thankfully, she spotted it and knowing her, I am sure she told them off.
People will use you, even in the church and you have to be ready to spot the phonies at first sight, or else you will end up embittered and frustrated at the wrong level of the battle. The devil is a liar… that’s all he’s good for and he will even lie to you that you have a friend (or that you don’t have one) so that your purposes are frustrated. I’ve had my own share of users in the past and I know firsthand that it’s important to go slow, and observe people carefully when things are not going their way, because that’s when you will see their true character. Either the phone calls will cease, the love will wax cold and the rumours will begin to flow, or they will continue in tough times to be the same people they have been in the good times.
Blessings, ladies!
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