the Kingdom is growing, so am i.

i really do identify with Jasper's post down there. somehow, i feel a longing, a calling, a tugging, a something at the bottom of my heart; i wonder where God is leading me too? i wonder what it is.

of late, i am encountering a lot of Christians from various Churches who are marching into a Kingdom-building phase. my friend Joseph explained to me how most of us Christians have been comfortable in a 'house-keeping' phase. the house-keeping lifestyle is the kind where a person gets saved, repents, joins Church, joins a Church ministry, gets a job, works during the weekdays, comes to Church on Sundays, ministers in Church, goes home, goes back to work on Monday, gets married somewhere down the lifeline, gets children, introduces them to Christ, brings the family to Church on Sunday, takes the kids to school on Monday, ... dies and goes to Heaven, safe and sound. in pastor Gary's words, the housekeeping Christians 'get cleansed from their sin by accepting Christ then go to Church and try and hang on to each other long enough so as to still be hanging on when Christ comes back to sort the world out'.

more and more Christians today are becoming Kingdom-builders. the Kingdom builders do what the Church in Acts did. they do what Jesus did. they go out into the world and make disciples of nations. in our world today, that includes entering the spheres of business, media, politics, law, social works, science, the Church itself and so on;- being joseph's and daniel's in our communities, worshipping our God so faithfully such that the laws of the nations will be caused to change when people see us. king darius changed the worship laws in his land after seeing everything about daniel, didn't he?

i want to be a Kingdom-builder. in my quest to do so, i have found that i have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is myself. the ones who will rule with God and have authority over 'nations' are the ones who obey Him. they are the ones who are His friends and good and faithful servants (John 15). the first time i understood this, i thought this was easy. i didn't know the deep-rooted fear i harboured!! i didn't know that i could be so insecure that i'd find it hard to trust that God would ensure 'good' results if i did the unconventional things He told me to. i'd always known that fear is just being scared to do something. now i think fear is the state of not knowing more indepth how much God loves u. it's like the level of fear u have is indirectly proportional to your knowing how much He loves u. i didn't know that i did not trust God with all my heart. i thought i was a good kid! but if i trusted God, it would be easier to step out of my comfort zone and walk on water at least a few steps.

starting with yourself means starting with your whole self. it means continual submission and surrender to God;- i always think i am surrendered until God shows me some unsurrendered hidden area in my life. i'd never have known about some things God finds in my heart if i didn't throw myself at his feet fearlessly coz i know He loves me and wants to work things out in me. i so much want to be one of those Christians whom the gates of hell can not prevail against, but i can not be so, if i let the devil discourage me easily, if i'm sensitive to all the 'insensitive' things people say to me, if i allow depression or confusion or unnecessary sadness in my life;- ie, if i don't cling to God's Words and His promises and His truth about me. i can not be such a Christian if i don't grow up.

now that i want to be a Kingdom-builder, one of my newest goals for life is to see that nothing domintes me except the will of God. so help me God!!